How to Put things in perspective with equality and chivalry?

I mean no offense.


Many women I have talked to say that they want a man to treat them equally in the world; such as same jobs, salary, things of that sort of nature. I then took another survey about the way women feel about the old chivalry of the past. One woman put it like this " Most men are jerks towards women these days! What happened to the knights and their chivalry?"





Back then knights had short lives, little technology, depended on villagers for food, and appreciated the balance that was there. Now for the women back then, they stayed mostly on the farm or village, were dedicated to their work( such as the food, cooking, cleaning, everything most women today dislike). Knights saw this and respected the women for what they did for them by kind favors. Yes, there are bad ones that come and go.





Personally, I believe ever since the equality thing came about, the perspective on those favors have changed.





Please tell me your thoughts, I am open to any thoughts or theories.


Thx

How to Put things in perspective with equality and chivalry?
Equality means that you cannot assign preferred treatment or restrictions based on their race, sex, nationality, etc.





Chivalry assigns preferred treatment based solely on sex. Social equality would preclude that.





However, non-feminist women want *social* INequality. They want to be treated specially *because* of being women.





But, a feminist would reject that. Feminism demands equality politically, economically, AND *socially.* Neither men nor women are to be given preferential treatment based on their sex, based on feminism.





However, many women who call themselves feminists are not. They only want *partial* equality; they want "chivalry", solely based on their sex. But, also want non-discrimination at work.





(Note the definition of feminism below.)





However, this is not a big problem because the vast majority of women don't ascribe to feminism and want are OK with INequality outside of work.





They want chivalry and want their husband to be the head of the household. INequality, they feel, in these venues is practical.





The solution? Find a woman with whom you agree and do what pleases her and yourself.





EDIT:





If you read the answers, you will note that Rio Madeira (of the very frequent answerers) is one of the few actual feminists here.





She demands equality in all areas of life without exceptions.
Reply:It can be hard if not difficult to try and find a solution to this mess that all of us are in.


But as far as chivalry goes, if a man holds a door open for me, I always thank him with a smile and I never feel offended because I feel secure enough with myself as a strong woman.


If I approach a door before a man, I will hold it open for him, it's just politeness.


What gets me angry, are girls out there that rant and rave when a man so much as opens a door for them, that behaviour is despicable. If a man just grabbed the door and just let it slam back in the womens face, she'd be offended anyway. How's about women just chill out and if men wish to be chivalrous, then let's be ladies and show some good grace about it.





Personally I would like it if things went back to the old days with the old roles we had, as long as we weren't beaten, killed or made to feel as though we are second class citizens. :) I think that's probably the issue that women have nowadays, they want to feel equally as important as men are and not be seen as slaves or belongings that deserve scorn and hatred.





And we could in return look up to men for protecting us and respecting what they do and their roles,etc.


But of course there's alot more to it.
Reply:baloney..chivalry still exists ,sadly it isn't practiced as much and by the behavior of men and women both are equally in faults however regardless , one should always be chivalrous in nature and by the way courtesy is a value that will get you more female respect that not....and Ive seen the way men treat women now its deplorable and with out honor..shame on you all
Reply:They sound like some deranged asswhole
Reply:you've got a good handle on this. since woman are more equal, men shouldn't have to step up as much.
Reply:Something that can't even be defined can hardly be 'put into perspective'. Wiki says you're making up your own definition according to what you THINK the definition is:





"Chivalry[1] is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood...Medieval writers often used the word chivalry, but its definition was never consistent between authors, and its meaning would change on a regional basis, and even over time.[2] Further, its modern meanings are different from its medieval meanings.[2] Thus, the exact meaning of chivalry changes depending on the writer, the time period, and the region, so a comprehensive definition of the term is elusive."





So, this obsolete term (no longer in use except as a red herring by cranks) - is indefinable. I suggest you stick your 'chivalry' and stick also TO concepts and ideas which CAN be defined. This way everyone can be on the same page at all times.





To repeat someone else's words: "Give me modern-day equality any day". Please and thanks in advance.
Reply:i love respect and politeness from everyone i come in contact with but i do not believe in the open the door for me, pull out my seat theory. I am not a queen, god, an invalid or a child. Why am i not pulling a chair out for you? Because you can do it for yourself? My point exactly, so can i. I do not think that if i accept to go out on a date with a guy he owes me chivalry. No. I go out on dates not to do someone else a favor but because i think it is going to be fun, or the guy is interesting. I will not go out on a date if i think it's going to be an awful time. In order words, i go out on dates to please myself ie have fun.


I do strongly believe in equality and i don't understand the whole chilvary thing or the women and children first. I am an adult. I don't want to be in the same group as children.


That's how i feel about it
Reply:it's certainty incompatible. get yourself a dog
Reply:Feminazis have made good men an endangered species. Back in my dating days I always held the door, pulled back the chair and paid for the dates. Now that I'm married I still do the first 2 but wife might get upset if I was still paying for dates with other women. Wives tend to frown upon that.
Reply:yeah, i struggle with this concept myself. it has got extremely bad for women these days. i work full time and i still have to do all that "women" stuff like cook, clean, do laundry, shop, etc,. all my husband does is work. but i pay half of all the bills myself. if you ask me, women have got the short end of the stick. we are expected to contribute financially now and do everything around the house. oh well, it keeps me trim and thin!
Reply:If you define chivalry as "politeness", then there is no conflict. Everyone should be polite to each other, regardless of gender. I think most people tend to use the word in that sense.





The real "chivalry" was no picnic. It WAS a code of honor, but the men weren't supposed to respect ALL women - just the nobility. The knights were still free to rape the peasant women, or to simply run them down with their horse on the way to the castle.





Most of the code of "chivalry" wasn't about women at all. It was about respecting property. A knight would throw down his cape for a lady (not just any woman) to cross a puddle because her shoes were made of silk, and they were freakin' expensive.





Likewise, a man would walk on the outside of the street so that he would be covered with offal and debris - not out of respect for the lady, but because her clothes cost more than his did.





A true knight would not have sexual relations with a "lady" because she belonged either to her husband or her father. The serfs, however, belonged to the knight - so he could do with them what he pleased, even if they objected.





Yech. Give me modern-day equality any day. If you hold the door open for me, I'll smile and say thank you. If I see you headed for the door with your arms full, I'll do the same for you.
Reply:Ok. I really personally dislike the gentleman thing of letting a women off the bus first or whatever. When guys do that for me, and I protest, they are generally really really stubborn and I know I'm holding all the other passengers up so I take their 'favour'. But when I try to do it for a man, he'll absolutely refuse to get off before me - and I know that everyone on the bus expects me to be the one to go first, and him to go after me because it is "gentlemanly". I know it is genuinly him trying to be respectful and nice, but I feel like it goes with the sterotypes of men being the 'doers'/active/in control/protectors of women and women being passive, and needing men. I just want to be treated the same as anyone else. Not as 'special' or delicate or anything. I also associate the gentlemanly thing with (past and present) sexism. It is a gesture with great intentions, but I feel like it takes something away from me, even if it is only symbolic. I don't like that I cannot let a guy go first. I don't like that when I refuse to accept a guys' 'gentlemanly' offer he looks offended and affronted and I feel guilty. The gentleman thing should be gender-neutral - sometimes it is, women letting other women go off the bus first etc. But it is primarily an old-fashioned idea of the 'good' man.





EDIT: Uzo, I agree when you said: "I am an adult. I don't want to be in the same group as children." - some guys seem to go out of their way to let children, and women, and the disabled, and the elderly, off buses first etc etc. I don't need that, and I don't want to be associated with those other groups who 'seem' to need more help. I am an adult person. I just wanted to be treated exactly like that.


And I totally agree with you, "I am not a queen, god, an invalid or a child. Why am i not pulling a chair out for you? Because you can do it for yourself? My point exactly, so can i."
Reply:My boyfriend is a gentleman most of the time. He's always been protective of women and is always showing me he loves me through those small favors like letting me sit first at the table or making sure that I have what I need before he serves himself. Chivalry still exists, it just isn't as prevalent as it used to be.





I think it's because the morals have changed over the years and it has a lot to do with religion. The way children were being brought up recently shows us what kind of a world we're going to live in. As long as religion and morals are suppressed, the more we will begin to see a decay in the things we once valued. I think there's more to this chivalry issue than just courtship.
Reply:I'm one of those feminists who expect to be treated equally in every way possible. I don't put up with chivalry. It makes me feel infantilized.